Ahhh...June is THE month of marriages....and signs everywhere point to busy caterers, florists and banquet halls as folks plan to celebrate their union. What is more important than the ceremony, however...are the days and weeks and moths afterwards. A marriage is a lifetime commitment, or supposed to be, for better, for worse, in sickness and health. Yet it seems that sometimes the stresses of life gets in the way. Couples take each other for granted. They want the other to read their minds. A toilet lid left up (or down) is of paramount importance and how towels get folded or a room vacuumed takes precedence over anything else.
It seems a struggle for power and control: who has it...and who WANTS it!
In my marriage, we agreed to be a team. No yelling, no name calling and no F bombs dropped on the other--ever! All is going well. What I didn't plan on was for my Lupus to return with a vengeance and rob me of my energy, my livelihood and my dreams. I had married three years ago and was in reasonably good health, despite the diagnosis of Rheumatoid arthritis as well as Lupus more than ten years ago. But I was doing well on medication. I held down several jobs during the economic downturn, learned to drive a commercial truck and began traveling the country with my truck driver husband as his co-driver. Life got in the way. Love also got in the way. He is at my side, though, no matter what. His love and compassion get me over the rough times, the sleepless nights and the awful flares of pain.
This is what true love is all about. It doesn't matter whose turn it is to take out the trash. What does matter is the fact that when one is needed, the other arrives--and stays! Think about that the next time you gasp with annoyance at a messy bed that was not made up or a late dinner appears. Tolerance...love...compassion. It is what makes a marriage happy.